Finding the Right Therapist

My role as a therapist has been informed by many things, not the least of which are my own experiences in therapy as the client. I have experienced tremendous healing, growth, and transformation as a result of excellent therapy I've had over the years. But I have also had the experience of being judged, shamed, and completely unsupported in my most vulnerable moments. Because of these moments, I strive as a therapist to first create safety in the therapeutic relationship and a space that is free of judgment. I come to my work from a belief that all behaviors make sense in context and that most of the behaviors my clients are struggling with actually serve a positive function in some way. In order to make change, we explore what that function is and identify new ways of coping.

Like any other relationship you have, the therapeutic relationship is one in which you can have wonderful, positive experiences, or terrible, harmful experiences. And research has shown that the way a client experiences the therapeutic relationship has a significant impact on the outcome of treatment. That is why when I am meeting with a new potential client, I let them know up front that the initial consultation appointment is not only to determine if we are a good clinical fit, but to see how it feels to sit with each other. Because I view therapy as a collaborative experience, I want to get a sense from the beginning what it will feel like to work together, and as a consumer, you should do the same.

Often I hear stories of clients choosing their therapists based solely in price, insurance coverage, or other factors that have little to no influence on what happens during the session. While of course these factors are important to consider, the relationship itself is even more important. The therapeutic relationship will be the container in which you may end up showing someone your most vulnerable self. Finding someone who feels safe enough take those risks is of the utmost importance. So what are some things to consider when you are looking for a therapist?

Experience and areas of expertise. This is an obvious one, but I want to start there because I think a lot of people make assumptions about what therapists can and can't do. While we all have largely similar types of education required for our profession, we all also have our unique areas of interest. Some therapists specialize in anxiety, but feel less excited about treating depression, which means they are likely to more effort into honing their skills around treating anxiety than depression even if they are technically equipped to do both. I've seen a lot of folks who promote themselves as providing couple therapy, but have done little training in how to treat couples effectively. Look for a therapist who is excited about and has experience in the issues you are struggling with.

How they approach the treatment experience. While it may sound like I'm referring to a therapeutic model, I'm more referring to how they apply a given model. Do they give advice? Do they ask lots of questions? Do they follow a regimented approach or do they adapt their interventions to you based on what you need? Is their approach based more on listening or do they take a more active role in the therapy room? There is nothing right or wrong about any of these things but being clear on what feels right for you and finding someone who approaches their treatment accordingly can contribute to your success in therapy.

Are they culturally competent? While it is not necessary for your therapist to be part of the same culture as you, having a clear understanding of your culture and its impact on how you view the world, how you cope, and how you relate to others can greatly enhance the process. Lacking in cultural awareness -- or at least enough curiosity to grow in their awareness -- can impede the process at best, and cause harm at worst.

Are they trauma informed? You may not identify as someone who has experienced trauma but having a therapist who is trauma informed will increase the likelihood that your therapist prioritizes your emotional safety above all else and is skilled in knowing where to nudge you in areas of discomfort and where to pull back. While exposure therapy is considered an intervention within the framework of therapy, the process of therapy in and of itself can sometimes be a form of exposure therapy. In the therapeutic relationship, you will likely be exposed to uncomfortable and painful emotions and memories. A trauma-informed therapist will work with you to create safety for experiencing previously intolerable emotions, sensations, memories, and beliefs.

At the end of the day, know that you have choices. Most therapists will provide a free consultation to see if you are a good fit for each other. If you want to get started without a consultation (either because you are eager or because they don’t offer it), think about treating your first session like a first date, and know that you don’t have to have a second date if the fit isn’t right.

Michelle Cantrell, LPCC is the Founder and Clinical Director for the Center for Growth and Connection where we specialize in helping clients develop healthier, more satisfying relationships with others and with themselves. We offer telehealth and in-person appointments in Pasadena, CA.

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